windows

     '''_                          __
    e-oo    Turn on Windows      |\ _\
    |  >  - Speech Recognition.  | |  | ~ "WINDOWS SPEECH
    ,\ 3                         | |  |    RECOGNITION ON"
   /  *                          | |  |
  |    \__                       |\|__|
  |        \\                     \[  ]
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     '''_                                          __
    e-oo    Open Word.        "WORD OPEN"        |\ _\
    |  >  - Open Document.    "DOCUMENT OPEN" ~  | |  |
    ,\ 3    Dictate mode on.  "DICTATION ON"     | |  |
   /  *                                          | |  |
  |    \__,,                                     |\|__|
  |        /                                      \[  ]
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     '''_                          __
    e-^^    Dear spelling mode   |\ _\    "THANK YOU FOR
    |  >  - G l o r i a select   | |  | ~  USING OUR EASY
    ,\ 3    last word capitals   | |  |    AND NATURAL
   /  *     unselect comma new   | |  |    DICK TATION
  |    \__ ,, line               |\|__|    MODE"
  |       //                      \[  ]
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 __       _```
 "DAVE          /_/\       OO-e - Nooooooooooo!!!!!!
  YOU SEEM LIKE|  \|       <  |   Voice Command mode,
   YOU ARE WRIT|NG||   ``   ) /   computer delete
   A LETTER  ~ |  ||   ::\  *  \  clippy!
  WOULD YOU    |__|/    \ \/    |
LIKE SOME HELP"[  ]/     \_     |
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                 __       _'''
 "AFFIRMATIVE   /_/\       00-e - What the fuck???
  DELETING     |  \|       <  |   Stupid father fucking
  HARD DRIVE   |  ||        0 /   piece of poo shit
  NOW        ~ |  ||        *  \  cold crappy wanking
  zzzzkwtzz "  |__|/   &&__/    | MicroSoft speech rubbish!
               [  ]/   \ -      |
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
             __
            /_/\  ~  "NOW REPORTING
           |  \|      FOUL LANGUAGE
           |  ||      TO MICROSOFT      "
           |  ||     "NOW REPORTING ANTI
           |__|/      MS SENTIMENT TO
           [__]/      HOMELAND SECURITY "
           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  ----====??????????????????????????????????====----
 ---Where do you want to carry today question mark---
--            We want to go today?                  --
 --           We want to go today?                 --
--       We'd do you want to go to daddy?           --
 ---      Where do you want to go today?          ---
 ----====???????????????????????????????????====----

          Windows: The Matrix has you.